You just never know…

So, my estranged wife was admitted to hospital this week.

Any particularly nasty people who know a bit about me might be hoping that she contracted covid. Any people reading this who have a mind of their own will know that is impossible because covid is about as real as santa or unicorns.

Although she was very ill with severe stomach pains, upon admission, they subjected her to the indignity of having a swab jabbed into the soft tissue at the back of her throat before declaring her to be free of unicorns.

She had been complaining of stomach pains since Monday, she was vomiting and had diarrhoea, couldn’t swallow any food or water, yet stuck it out until Wednesday before calling an ambulance.

Much of her reticence was caused by the fear of going into that environment. The medical establishment in this country have not done much to assuage that fear during the dealings she has had with them over the years. They have lied to us, bullied us and tried to take away choice at every opportunity, no wonder she was a little unsure about handing herself over to them.

Although we have been separated for over a year now, we have three children together and their care has fallen to me. This happened suddenly, we all thought that she had a bug of some kind and would get over it in a few days, so I wasn’t prepared to take over all of her duties immediately.

She is not just a full time mother to the three children, she also takes care of the books for our shared company, which has been floundering a bit recently due to clients who have been affected by the temper of the times. The meanness and nastiness engendered by the psy-op perpetrated on the population of the world has penetrated deep, causing a darkness to spread. Three clients have stopped payment which has created a cash-flow problem for us, my wife has been holding up her end gamely, but the stress has been showing. This means that I now need to take on her role as issuer of invoices and payer of bills, something I know nothing about, the computer system we use is a closed book to me.

Since she went in to hospital I have been taking the two younger kids to school and picking them up, something which has affected my ability to do my job, my working day being cut down to around five hours. I make their lunches, shop for their food, cook when I can. It is pretty chaotic right now.

I have been living away since last year, and this distance makes things more difficult too. My mother in law came to stay in February last year and got stuck here as flights were cancelled, she is helping in her way to look after the kids so that means I don’t have to move back there full time… yet.

The news from the hospital is not good.

They performed a CT scan which showed a build-up of fluid around her heart and another around her lungs, hence the shortness of breath which had come on suddenly just before the ambulance arrived. The scan also showed inflamed glands in her chest and inflammation to the bronchial tubes of her lungs.

It didn’t take long for them to start saying the word that no one wants to hear. It seems that if a person who is not old develops symptoms unusual for their age, cancer is the go-to. The chest specialist said he thought I should know it could be very serious and to prepare the ground for future conversations he threw that word in early.

He did also say that it might not be that thing, he doesn’t really know because they are waiting for the results of the tests on the fluid that they drained from around her heart. The procedure was performed very quickly and the results were satisfyingly immediate. She can now breathe easier and the pain from her stomach has subsided considerably. While I was talking to this doctor I asked if he could arrange a visit for me and the kids, I expected the answer to be a flat negative, however, he said he hoped to be able to arrange this for us. Half and hour later my wife called and said we could come. A minor miracle given the ridiculous hysteria that is going around these days, so I took it as a good sign that some things were going our way.

On arrival at the hospital it became more problematic.

It had been my hope that because of what was at stake I would simply accept the proffered mask and walk in, but it was not to be. There was a stand off with the main nurse who refused us access without a mask or an even more ridiculous face visor, the two younger kids said they were willing to wear one but I found I could not say yes, and my eldest had the same problem. My wife begged me to do as I was told, but the more pedantic the nurse became, and the more she mocked me, the less able I became. It was obvious to me that it was a power struggle and she saw me as a challenge to her powerlessness and lack of authority in her own life, this made it impossible for her to yield.

When I explained that she was breaking the law and discriminating against me on the grounds of protected characteristics, as laid out in the Equality Act of 2010, she disappeared for a long time, probably to check her legal position. But she would not move.

She used our pain and suffering as a lever to get her own way. What a cunt!

Anyway, I gave in and put on a plastic face guard that didn’t even cover my mouth, as did my eldest daughter. The two younger ones put on the paper masks from the box that says in plain English that they do not protect against viruses. Their faces were too small for them too so the masks slipped down to their chins immediately, it was a perfect demonstration that it is all about power and control with health concerns being the excuse.

We walked the twenty yards to the private room where my wife is being treated and removed the pointless face guards once inside. My wife has had several confrontations over masks, in the bank, in shops, she has refused point blank to wear one but she urged me not to make trouble here. She said it was more important to let the kids come in and see her, she didn’t seem bothered if I didn’t come, until I told her that the nurse wouldn’t let the kids come in without me.

It has been a long week, and the pain is not over yet. I am being forced to reexamine my time being married to this woman, and the circumstances of the separation, brought on, ironically, by the death from cancer of my eldest sister two years ago. I love my wife although I cannot live with her and this has been painful. Seeing her in hospital today reminded me of the births of our children, some of the most challenging and joyful times of my life, times shared with her. The strength she showed then gives me hope for the future.

I pray for her, that she will be given the light and the power to see the right course for her life. I pray that God willing, she will come back to us healthy and well.

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